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I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
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I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
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Time is nature’s way of keeping everything from happening at once.
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Most of the time I don’t have much fun. The rest of the time I don’t have any fun at all.
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I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.
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I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.
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Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.
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Eighty percent of success is showing up.
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I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
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Time is nature’s way of keeping everything from happening at once.
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I am two with nature.
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As the poet said, ’Only God can make a tree,’ probably because it’s so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
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If my films don’t show a profit, I know I’m doing something right.
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I don’t believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
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I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys.
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Life doesn’t imitate art, it imitates bad television.
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Right now it’s only a notion, but I think I can get the money to make it into a concept, and later turn it into an idea.
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Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
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Marriage is the death of hope.
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Basically my wife was immature. I’d be at home in the bath and she’d come in and sink my boats.