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It’s better to have loved and lost than to have to do forty pounds of laundry a week.
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Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell, and advertise.
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Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their level of incompetence.
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Men now monopolize the upper levels... depriving women of their rightful share of opportunities for incompetence.
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Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.
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Heredity is what sets the parents of a teenager wondering about each other.
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Fortune knocks but once, but misfortune has much more patience.
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Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away.
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Going to church doesn’t make you any more a Christian than going to the garage makes you a car.
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An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today.
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The best intelligence test is what we do with our leisure.
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Speak when you are angry - and you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret.
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Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.
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Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.
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Speak when you are angry - and you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret.
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Slump, and the world slumps with you. Push, and you push alone.
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The best intelligence test is what we do with our leisure.
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An intelligence test sometimes shows a man how smart he would have been not to have taken it.
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Television has changed the American child from an irresistable force to an immovable object.
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Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.