A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen.


Kin Hubbard

896

Next to a circus there ain’t nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.


Kin Hubbard

896

Peace has its victories no less than war, but it doesn’t have as many monuments to unveil.


Kin Hubbard

896

There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?


Kin Hubbard

896

If you haven’t seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven’t seen her smile her prettiest.


Kin Hubbard

896

We would all like to vote for the best man but he is never a candidate.


Kin Hubbard

896

No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.


Kin Hubbard

896

Universal peace sounds ridiculous to the head of an average family.


Kin Hubbard

896

Peace has its victories no less than war, but it doesn’t have as many monuments to unveil.


Kin Hubbard

896

Lack of pep is often mistaken for patience.


Kin Hubbard

896

Don’t knock the weather nine-tenths of the people couldn’t start a conversation if it didn’t change once in a while.


Kin Hubbard

896

Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune.


Kin Hubbard

896

Nobody works as hard for his money as the man who marries it.


Kin Hubbard

896

Bargain... anything a customer thinks a store is losing money on.


Kin Hubbard

896

When a fellow says, ’It ain’t the money but the principle of the thing,’ it’s the money.


Kin Hubbard

896

It isn’t enough for you to love money - it’s also necessary that money should love you.


Kin Hubbard

896

Don’t knock the weather nine-tenths of the people couldn’t start a conversation if it didn’t change once in a while.


Kin Hubbard

896

Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best.


Kin Hubbard

896

We would all like to vote for the best man but he is never a candidate.


Kin Hubbard

896

No woman can be handsome by the force of features alone, any more that she can be witty by only the help of speech.


Kin Hubbard

896

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