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A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen.
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Next to a circus there ain’t nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.
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Peace has its victories no less than war, but it doesn’t have as many monuments to unveil.
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There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?
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If you haven’t seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven’t seen her smile her prettiest.
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We would all like to vote for the best man but he is never a candidate.
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No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.
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Universal peace sounds ridiculous to the head of an average family.
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Peace has its victories no less than war, but it doesn’t have as many monuments to unveil.
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Lack of pep is often mistaken for patience.
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Don’t knock the weather nine-tenths of the people couldn’t start a conversation if it didn’t change once in a while.
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Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune.
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Nobody works as hard for his money as the man who marries it.
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Bargain... anything a customer thinks a store is losing money on.
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When a fellow says, ’It ain’t the money but the principle of the thing,’ it’s the money.
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It isn’t enough for you to love money - it’s also necessary that money should love you.
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Don’t knock the weather nine-tenths of the people couldn’t start a conversation if it didn’t change once in a while.
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Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best.
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We would all like to vote for the best man but he is never a candidate.
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No woman can be handsome by the force of features alone, any more that she can be witty by only the help of speech.