Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football.


Fran Lebowitz

896

As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.


Fran Lebowitz

896

Success didn’t spoil me, I’ve always been insufferable.


Fran Lebowitz

896

Romantic love is mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one. It’s a drug. It distorts reality, and that’s the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.


Fran Lebowitz

896

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.


Fran Lebowitz

896

There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior.


Fran Lebowitz

896

Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs.


Fran Lebowitz

896

If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.


Fran Lebowitz

896

Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step - it is an old business procedure.


Fran Lebowitz

896

Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort. If you have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass.


Fran Lebowitz

896

Romantic love is mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one. It’s a drug. It distorts reality, and that’s the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.


Fran Lebowitz

896

Life is something to do when you can’t get to sleep.


Fran Lebowitz

896

You can’t go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do.


Fran Lebowitz

896

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.


Fran Lebowitz

896

You’re only as good as your last haircut.


Fran Lebowitz

896

All God’s children are not beautiful. Most of God’s children are, in fact, barely presentable.


Fran Lebowitz

896

If you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don’t teach him to subtract teach him to deduct.


Fran Lebowitz

896

Polite conversation is rarely either.


Fran Lebowitz

896

Food is an important part of a balanced diet.


Fran Lebowitz

896

You’re only as good as your last haircut.


Fran Lebowitz

896

در